Step Up Financial Coaching

“It’s Boring”

I have a conversation with my six-year old at least once a week. It usually goes like this:

“Do you know why you aren’t doing your math?”

“Yes.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“Because it’s boring.”

Now, I realize most people are likely to agree with my little Energizer Bunny, and are nodding along, “yes, math is boring” and they stop there. But unlike the age old script, that’s not where the conversation ends and I launch into a well-rehearsed lecture about how you need to know this stuff, and it’s not boring, it’s exciting, blah blah blah. Because, yes, often math can feel boring, but it’s still a critical life skill. Except, is she going to learn if I just stand over her and lecture? I have yet to meet anybody who can learn well by being talked at. So we keep going.

“Do you know why is it boring for you today?”

Here is where the answer tends to vary. Some weeks, she’s tired. Other weeks, she doesn’t feel well because she has a cold or we had way too many things going on. And sometimes, it’s because she wants to spend time with Mama on math, instead of Great Grammie. It’s also not uncommon for her to simply be overwhelmed; after all, she’s only six, and ten to eleven pages of math a week is tough for an Energizer Bunny who Can’t. Stop. Moving.

Unfortunately, many people go their whole lives with the ‘math is boring, math sucks, why do we need to learn how to find the square root of the Rand Theorem¹ anyway, we can just google it now’. (also, anybody who sends me the answer for the square root of the Rand Theorem, I’ll send you a free book!)

But back to boring math…

The trope is that math is boring, a budget is boring, a budget is math, boring is math and budget, you get the idea.

Good news! Boring moved out!

No, boring didn’t leave permanently. Seriously, I’m not that naïve. Math did the math and budget looked at behavior and they both decided that boring needed to move out with all his boring clutter. Which leaves room for the rest of their word friend group to finally hang out again: behavior, hope, and acceptance.

Now we have math, budget, behavior, hope, and acceptance. But where’s boring? Oh, yeah, he went on a road trip with his other friend, laundry, but that’s another story for another time.

Why are behavior, hope, and acceptance friends with math and budget? Well, firstly, personal finance is more about behavior than it is math. 80% behavior, to be exact. Only 20% of your money wellness is actually about math². For those of you that I just lost as soon as I pulled out the numbers, think of this: you and four friends. You represent the math portion of your personal finance, and your friends represent the behavior portion. And if even that is too many numbers, look at your coffee and the birthday cake you had last week. How much water to coffee grounds do you use? Far more water than grounds, right? And the cake, was it all frosting or all cake? It was mostly cake, with some frosting on top and maybe between the layers. Water is fine by itself, but better with coffee beans added, right? And cake by itself is fine, but add that frosting on top and it’s amazing!

Your money is the same way; behavior is the water or cake, math is the coffee beans or the frosting. By themselves, meh, ok; together? Oh, that’s good stuff!

So that’s the basic behavior and math in relation to your money. But what about hope and acceptance? Aren’t those kind of weird to correlate to money?

Not really.

Who has never hoped for something? Me, I hope my Energizer Bunny will eventually understand these math concepts I’m trying to teach her. And acceptance? I accept that it won’t happen overnight, so I know I have to be patient and work with her, one math problem at a time. Now what about the budget? Well, ever hoped for a raise? Or a nice bonus? Or to not put all the Christmas presents on a credit card with 20% interest?

Hope is a driver; it drives your behavior, especially when you want something substantial, say, no debt.

But acceptance. Acceptance is the navigator. You can hope to get a raise and pay off your debt all you want, but if you don’t accept the responsibility, boy, it ain’t happenin’! You have to accept that it’s your responsibility to change your behavior to change your budget to change your life.

Hope is a driver … Acceptance is the navigator.

Sound kind of scary, maybe, overwhelming? A little bit. Which is why you break it down into bite-sized chunks.

First chunk: Hope. That’s why you’re here. That’s why you’re reading this. You are hoping for something or looking for hope. So let’s go.

Second chunk: Acceptance. Accept that your mess is your responsibility. Got it? Moving on.

Third chunk: Behavior. What behaviors do you have that help you, and what hurts you? Which ones do you want to change? Which ones do you want to get rid of? Even something as small as your habitual stop in to the coffee shop for a post-run smoothie twice a week, and what time you leave for work every day. Is that smoothie actually a healthy blend of whole fruit and yogurt, or is it just a candy bar blended into some ice cream? Are you always five minutes late for work, or do you always show up exactly on time? Because remember, we need to know the behaviors to go to the next piece.

Fourth chunk: Math. What’s 2+2? What about 5-3? Do you know how to operate the plus and minus on the calculator app on your phone? Yes? Good, all set.

Fifth Chunk: Budget. Confession time: Even as a financial coach, I still felt the little dirty feeling that ‘budget’ was a cuss word. Until I decided to download a certain weight loss app. (Cue face-palm) They talked about ‘budgeting’ your calories. They even called it a ‘calorie budget’. Interesting. Then I realized, an article I had read once had mentioned ‘time budget’. “Here’s something I wish I knew before I was in my thirties!”³ ‘Budget’ is actually just another word for ‘quantity’⁴. I may have thumped my head against a very handy wall when I realized that… But a budget is basically just labeling where everything goes; your calories, your time, your money, how much space in the fridge for veggies and how much for chocolate cream pie, if it even lasts that long.

Hope. Acceptance. Behavior. Math. Budget. Those things are great friends of each other and you. And boring is just that annoying little acquaintance that stops by for a couple days, you put up with him, then he hops over to someone else’s house, so we’re going to leave him off the table for now.

We could add one more thing here; change. Change is the thread that weaves through and connects these five concepts. You hope because you want something to change. You begin to change by accepting the responsibility. You continue the change by changing the behaviors that need to be changed. You see evidence of that change by your willingness to accept the responsibility of actually doing math. (bonus points if you do it without complaining that it’s boring!) You track your progress through the change with your budget (time, money, calories, etc.).

Hope. Acceptance. Behavior. Math. Budget. … Change is the thread that weaves through and connects these five concepts.

But, how to get started?

Talk. Tell somebody. If you don’t have anybody to talk to, I’m here. Drop me a message, schedule a consultation, give me a call or text. Change is tough; you want something better and I can show you how to get there. If you want to talk, but don’t know what to say, just message me “it’s boring”. My (digital) door is always open.

NOTE: I am not a mental health, marriage, or licensed counselor or therapist. If you need the help of any of these folks, please reach out to the appropriate one; I can also provide you with suggestions if needed.

Sources

¹ Rand Theorem, Lego Jurassic World; Season 1, Episode 6, on Amazon Prime

² “Winning at money is 80% behavior and 20% head knowledge.” The Total Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey, Chapter 1. Find it here (I do not receive any commissions from any purchases made by following the provided link): https://store.ramseysolutions.com/money/books/the-total-money-makeover-by-dave-ramsey/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8J6wBhDXARIsAPo7QA-K2wgSgfui8GSeDwlQHxaUXe56qR0–7xBmOrUobkrRLfTui0MgOAaApc2EALw_wcB

³ Sidney Raz, online personality https://www.instagram.com/sidneyraz/?hl=en

⁴ “Budget, definition” Miriam-Webster Dictionary https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/budget